Hello, is there anybody in there?

I can’t explain what this is about, because I’m not even sure myself…plus you just have to figure some things out on your own.

 

• My perfect mate would not be perfect. 
• She would be human and have feelings.
• She would be strong enough to admit her own errors and tell me when I am wrong. 
• Everyone has faults…love is when you appreciate those faults. 
• Nothing would be hidden...honesty is being open without inquisition. 
• We would have enough similarities to enjoy life together and enough differences to learn from each other.
• She would be my best friend above and beyond anything else.
• We would both want the same from life.
• Her hair color and skin type would not matter because she would be as beautiful with grey hair and wrinkles as the day I met her. 
• I would see the world in her eyes and feel heaven in her arms. 
• Her voice would sound special.
• Her scent would affect your brain in ways you don’t even know.
• She would erase all doubts and take all desire.
• She would accept me for who I am and change me just enough to know it matters.
• The past would disappear and future be seen. 
• My heart would beat. 
• I would be nervous at first but comfortable at last. 
• There would be no fear.
• She would be hard to get but easy to have.
• Obstacles would only strengthen us.
• She would ask and never assume.
• She would understand misunderstandings.
• We would trust ourselves over anyone else. 
• I would be as right for her as she was right for me. 
• There would be an inexplicable connection. 
• We could communicate without speaking. 
• You would hate to leave her for work, but do it because it helped support your family. 
• She would put me on a natural high.
• We would dance slow, dance fast, dance drunk, and dance sober.
• We could walk anywhere…even the plank or the aisle.
• We would always be each other’s number one priority.
• In sickness and in health.
• Happiness would be contagious.
• Smiles would come without effort.
• We would laugh at serious matters and be serious about funny matters.
• We would believe in each other.
• I would not feel alone when she is away.
• We could make fun of each other and not get offended.
• Responsibility would be shared without complaint.
• Arguments would be civil.
• Fights would only be with big soft pillows (feather for her, cotton for me…to keep it fair)
• The risk in knowing that any day either could be gone would be no risk at all.
• Odd or even number of flower petals would not matter.
• Flowers would not matter....thoughts and actions would.
• We could sit outside a closed coffee shop for hours and be content staring at traffic.
• I would just keep adding to this list as time went on.

 

Wow.  That all sounds unreal and intimidating.  So I guess she would have to also not take life too seriously.  You know the rest of the quote…it’s cliché.

Why should I start a blog?

Why should I start a blog?  I don't even know what the definition of a blog is or what purpose it may serve.  I could go on studying the matter infinitely and reading what others have written to develop a reference point for starting...or I could just start writing on this blank page: an electronic tabula rasa for which to empty my mind.

Tabula rasa is Latin for "clean slate".  It's a philosophic metaphor for trying to view things void of stereotype without impediment.  No chalk has ever lined the board, nor any smears left by an eraser...as if you were just born from the womb, saw the light, and were held tight for the first time.  No benchmarks have been set for comparison that might alter your perception.  It's a surreal unattainable state of mind one should constantly strive to achieve when addressing matters.  I want to live life without prejudice and create without boundary or background.

 

"Most people are other people.  Their thoughts are someone else’s opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation." – Oscar Wilde

Words are defined by other words and their order is what constitutes language.  Just like music, there are only so many notes or letters and each one has surely been repeated oft enough.  Our freedom is how we choose to arrange and release them.  So that little part about being unattainable…it's true.  No matter how hard we try, our thoughts, words, and actions will always at least to an unavoidable extent be a result of what has affected us.  As a baby you must learn how to speak by first listening.  One cannot develop their own language as a child.  If they did, who shall understand it? 

The better question may be why should I not start a blog.  A lunatic speaks out loud to himself in the street.  Is publishing a public diary of loosely strung thoughts online any different?  Perhaps because the words of a literate individual make sense instead…and hopefully someone actually listens.  However, that likely results from the educational influence of a smeared chalkboard.  My jealousy remains for the homeless cracked out bum who speaks with a tabula rasa.  He cares not who hears, mocks, or misunderstands, and can't even afford a slate or stick of chalk.  Yes he may be unlearned and crazy, but one thing is certain…he truly dances like no one is watching.

Back to the question about why should I start a blog.  Does it matter?  That was just the first unaltered thought that entered my mind when doing so.  I make no guarantee another post will even be made.  But enough figurative pinball...here are some simple straightforward reasons:

·         It's 6 AM (or it was). 

·         I can't sleep. 

·         Sobriety has left me without poetic inspiration. 

·         I don't have enough time or focus to put forth a congruent book.

·         Acquaintances wish to hear my cry no more than I wish to tell them. 

·         I should spare my family and friends from the frivolous burdens of my mind.

·         It’s cathartic. 

·         Someone inspired me.

 

Thomas Jefferson said, “If you want something you’ve never had, you must be willing to do something you’ve never done.”  I think that’s just another fancy quote and layer of chalk dust, but the greatest risk in life is not taking one at all, right?  Alas, more cliché quotes…deal with it.  I would rather mimic a wise man than a fool.

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better.  The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly.  So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.” - Theodore Roosevelt