Love ain't what this song's about

So it’s been a few weeks since my last sappy post, and a lot has happened…or not happened.  I’ve tried to leave things alone, but it’s hard to play that game when someone makes you happy.  Every time I regain some dignity and get a piece of my heart back, I seem to just put it right back into a shoebox full of thought labeled for return.  Somehow I managed to meet an architect, a doctor, and a lawyer all within a month and go on nice dates with each one.  But nearly every girl I’ve met my entire life has just been another temporal distraction.  To help clear my mind, I even flew across country to the opposite corner of America, got lost in a big city, slept on freezing ground, surfed in 45 degree water, snowboarded down black diamonds, and randomly ended up at a cabin on a wild river in the middle of nowhere.  Of course the plane flew directly over her hometown and the park we camped at just happened to bear her name.  I could write a whole book about coincidences throughout my life so that’s really no surprise.  Everyone tells me I think too much and read into things, but no one truly knows what’s on my mind.  I’m observant in general and take all these things with a grain of salt.  Even when communicating in person, no one seems to fully understand me.  I’m certain all kinds of assumptions and mockery are now forming with each written word.  All I ever get in response are the same old clichés.  Everyone says you’ll find the right person when you least expect it…stop looking.  I’m not looking.  I wasn’t looking.  Nor was I expecting to meet someone on World Mental Health Day.  Is that a sign?  Is the fact that date is the same as what my bank PIN number has been since high school a sign?  No, but it makes for a good story.  She would never rob me like my first girlfriend did.  She wouldn’t have to anyways.  I’m an open book.  And if whoever is reading this wants to rob me, you’re gonna have to get my card first.  I may have a soft heart, but my will is strong and no single man on earth scares me.  And regardless…

Without somebody, nothing ain’t worth a dime  - Alan Jackson (Livin on Love)

Tis why my last post stated how meaningless my home and job were in comparison with what truly matters in life.  All I’ve ever really wanted is to be mutually in love with a strong and caring woman.  But enough about love; the more you repeat a word, the less meaning it has.  And this still has nothing to do with that as previously posted…especially now that my respect is fading.  Plus this is all starting to sound like word vomit.

Love ain’t what this song’s about
Candlelight
Ain’t what I’m in the mood for now
I don’t need a metaphor
To help me get this out
Love ain’t what this song’s about
It’s about beer and whiskey and drinkin
It’s about playin the fool and acting without thinking
It’s about runnin with your buddies who don’t give a damn
What in the world happens to you man
No love ain’t what this song’s about
It’s about wine and women and song
It’s about doing one thing and makin sure your doin it wrong
It’s about giving in to your deepest desire
Setting the whole damn world on fire
Cryin ain’t what you’re gonna hear
- Roger Creager (Love)

Oh Roger, Roger…setting the whole damn world on fire?  You said no metaphors, but let’s all hope and pray you’re kidding about that one.  I’m not going to set the world on fire and have no desire to.  But I did almost set my house on fire last month by accidently leaving a candle lit overnight.  Good thing I had two smoke alarms, because only one went off at 3 in the morning and it wasn’t that which was closest to the candle.  It’s also good I saw the foot long flame in the corner of my eye before turning back to bed after ripping out the battery under the assumption it was a false alarm.  The ironic part is I made a mental effort to blow out all the candles before getting sleepy so as to avoid such fate.  However, the culprit candle was one that had a broken wick and never stayed lit but somehow held a tiny flame too small to notice.  Lessons learned…double check, don’t assume, and test your smoke alarms!  So not only did I almost lose my house a week after writing the following in my previous entry…

“Sometimes I wish I had nothing (no house, no job, no truck, and no future) so that my life was not inherently defined by everything around me.“

…but the morning after getting back to work from my vacation, I almost got fired.  After nearly nine years of dedication, I got thrown under the bus and put on thin ice.  Did I mention my flight back home got delayed last minute until 10:10 at night? (In case you haven’t already googled the date for World Mental Health Day and started finding ways to hack my bank account.)  Let’s just say I’ll be driving more carefully from now on.

“There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.”  - Oscar Wilde